I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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