I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
