I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize