He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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