Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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