Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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