the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
