My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
