I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
