She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
