we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
