Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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