Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this boner is exhausting
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
