so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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