You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
