Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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