I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
