Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
