I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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