this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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