I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
