So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
