We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
