Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
