He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
