I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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