guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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