everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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