so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
