The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
