That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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