Nicole vs. Life
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
