Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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