i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
where does the pee come out of this thing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
