What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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