Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
