I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
