My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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