so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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