she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The uberlube is also flammable
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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