you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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