I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
