finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
