im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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