My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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