Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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