It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
