Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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