if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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