Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
