But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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