he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
