if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
