Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
