We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize