Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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