Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
