Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
