they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize