how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
