He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
