his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
