its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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